


Gimme Shelter

by sheroars



Category: The Killing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-02-21 21:17:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2482778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheroars/pseuds/sheroars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if they took a different path?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It Didn't Start Out This Nice

He hadn’t stayed over for almost two weeks now. 

They’d gotten back to work. Their case had come under scrutiny twice. Dismissed twice. Cut and dry self defense in their eyes. Mrs. Skinner was in county jail for breaking and entering into her house. They’d solved a kidnapping and worked a murder suicide. Cleared mountains of paperwork. Leapt over all the right hurdles. Smiled at all the right people. Said all the right things. Showed up at all the right meetings. 

But she’d slept alone for nine nights. 

She chastised herself for letting it get to her but the bed was cold and she couldn’t stop shivering. Her stomach hurt. 

Tomorrow was Saturday so she swore when the phone went off. 

“Yah?” 

“Hey Sarah Lind…” He was in the habit of sing songing her name lately. 

“If you say we have a case I swear I’m going to throw up.” 

“No, no, no. No case. I promise. Everyone’s holed up tonight with this thunderstorm. It’s a hella bad. I can barely see…are you feeling okay? You sound weird.” 

“I’m alright.” 

“You’re lyin and I’m like five minutes away anyway.” He hung up. She pulled the covers over her head and squeezed her eyes shut. 

“Ok,” She mumbled, letting her phone fall to the floor. 

He used a spare key to get in her house. 

“Linden it’s seven thirty on a Friday night- why the hell are you in bed?” 

“I’m tired.” 

“Sarah, Sarah, Sarah Lind.” He mumbled. He pulled the comforter back and found his partner curled up in a ball with an arm over her face. She was wearing his sweatshirt with the hood pulled up and her running leggings. 

It was the most fucking adorable thing he’d ever seen.

She huffed but kept her eyes closed as he lifted her arm and felt her forehead with his freezing cold hands. He smelled like rain. She was still shivering a little. “Have you eaten?” 

“No.” 

“There it is. I know for a fact the only thing you had today was two donuts and way too much coffee…” She rolled over and gave an exaggerated sigh. He echoed her and put his hands on her legs, bouncing her on the mattress. “And I know for a fact I’ve spent the last hour making spaghetti-n-meatballs over at my place because I had some misguided notion that you missed me about as much I miss you.” She pushed his hands away playfully. He pulled the hood off and pushed hair in her eyes. She cracked and sat up. 

“You cooked?” 

“Hell yah mama. I hit up the red box so we’re stocked for the weekend. Picked up some of that Stella beer you like and a bottle of white wine- not that boxed shit I found in your fridge last time I was here.” He straightened up and tossed his soaked overcoat. He toed off his shoes and dropped his jeans, going for the sweats he’d left in her closet. It sounded like he had a whole weekend planned out. A thrill ran down her spine and her stomach flipped. She bit down on her lip and raised an eyebrow. 

“You sure that’s a good idea?” He shot her a look. She cracked a smile before she could stop herself. He smirked and pulled on a dry tee shirt. He got down on his knees by the bed so he could look her square in the eye. 

“You say stupid stuff when your head and your stomach are empty at the same time.” 

“True.” She wound her arms around his neck and let her mouth fall against his ever so lightly. It took them all of about five seconds to realize they’d abstained from touching each other like this for a really long time. She inhaled sharply when he slid his hands under her knees and spread her legs, pulling her tight to his body as he loomed over her, pushing her off balance. “You need to shave.” She mumbled.

“Oh c’mon baby.” God he kissed her like he was hungry. When he pulled away she fought a whimper but some sort of strangled noise escaped her anyway. “You need to eat something.” That didn’t stop him from tugging on the collar of the sweatshirt and sucking on her neck. She let out a quiet moan and closed her eyes. 

“I-” He made the choice for her, pulling her off the bed and giving her an unceremonious push out the door. “Stephen-”

“I’ll be there in a second. I gotta whiz.” 

“Be careful.” She teased, sucking in a laugh as they both looked down... 

She reheated spaghetti and meatballs and snagged a beer. He’d bought dinner rolls from the farmer’s market and they were still warm. 

“Yo ease up Linden- ain’t nobody gonna fight you for it.” 

“Drop dead.” She handed him a plate. 

“Sweet thang.” He sat on the counter next to her. He reached over her for a napkin and dabbed some sauce off her chin. 

“You missed.” She leaned forward and touched his face. 

“My bad.” He kissed her quick. He then realized he had sauce on his own face when she shot him a look and had to wipe her chin again. 

“Ew,” 

“Hey you leaned into it.” She snorted and laughed. 

“This is really good.” 

“Anything for you.” He casually slid an arm around her neck. She smiled up at him gently and shook her head before letting herself drift into another kiss. 

“You’re too much.” He stole her fork, stabbed a meatball, and shoved it in her mouth. They nearly capsized with the brief wrestling match.

Not many people know that Sarah Linden’s laugh is a full body occasion. 

~

“Ok I did not see that coming.” 

“You said you saw this movie before.” She yawned from her end of the couch. 

“No, no…I said once you see one Christian Bale movie you’ve seen them all. But this was good.” The credits for The Prestige rolled across the screen. He rubbed her knee as she yawned again. He was slouched in the middle of the couch with his feet on the coffee table. She was lying down with her legs over his lap. 

“Stop that.” She batted at the hand tickling the underside of her thigh. 

“Feel any better?” She nodded and closed her eyes, letting her head fall back on the arm rest. A smile teased her face as his hand stopped tickling and moved itself higher. “You look better. Specially wearin’ my clothes like that.” He toyed with the hem of his sweatshirt, sitting just over her hips. She sucked in a breath and clasped in hand in both of hers as she sat up. He pressed his face against her neck as she wrapped her arms around him. 

“C’mon,” 

“Hold on-”

“Shut up.” She walked ahead of him. 

“Yes ma’am.” She turned on the stereo as they passed it and turned around to face him. God he was in trouble.


	2. What We've Become

“Storm stopped,” She mumbled into the pillow, shifting slightly under his weight. 

“Mmmmhmmm,” He was kissing the curves of her shoulder blades, draped over her back, legs pressed tight to hers. He was being achingly attentive but her body was starting to tremble from being in the same position for so long. He seemed to notice and slid off her, pushing himself up on an elbow so he could run his fingers down her spine. He’d never noticed how freckles tattooed the skin of her back. She stirred lazily, stretching herself out as she resettled on her side, facing him. “What’s the matter? What’s going on with your face?” She teased him with his own words as she pulled rumpled hair over her shoulder and began twisting a braid. He dropped his mouth against the top of her head and breathed deeply. 

“I missed this.” He admitted against her hair. She was so warm. 

It had been hard. Real hard. Just not touching her.

After all the shit it took to get her to look him in the eyes when he undressed her. 

She pushed herself up to look at him, nodding sympathetic agreement. He ran a finger over her braid. She put her forehead on his to regain his attention. It felt like that first breath after holding it in for far too long. The radio was still going but it got softer and softer as he looked at her. She didn’t look tired anymore. 

“Thank you.” 

“Sarah Linden.” Her. Just her. 

“Why did you get this?” She ran her fingertips over his chest tattoo and pulling away to look at him. Serenity. 

“Reminder,” She smirked. 

“What about this?” There was an Asian symbol on his rib cage.

“That’s Japanese for recovery.”

“You sure?” He gave a husky laugh. 

“I got it after my first month clean. I found this book, about Japan after that tsunami way back. There was a lot of street art and a lot of shelters with that painted on it.” She touched his cheek and kissed him. “So where are you on the whole ink thing? I’m not saying it has to be like…right on your ass or anything.” 

“I’m not tramp stamping your badge number.” She leaned over him to switch off the lamp. 

“As classy as that is I’m serious. My guy could draw you a pretty ass anchor. He does trees that fit just perfect along your spine. Words that put the bible to shame. Get your boy’s birthday in roman numerals. Something like that…don’t laugh, I’m being deep.” She lifted his wrist and curled herself under his arm. He started. It was like she’d been doing it forever. 

“Maybe a rose...” The meaning wasn’t lost on him. He leaned down and kissed her nose. 

You see, on any other woman that would have been endearing. 

But this was Sarah Linden  
.  
And he was Stephen Holder. 

And at midnight on a Friday night after a long ass, horrible week in the middle of some resemblance of an evolving relationship like theirs, that was the funniest damn thing in the world. 

He pushed her away and grumbled about it. She wiped tears from her eyes and nearly choked as he rolled over. She was still giggling when she ran her hand up and down his back and wheezed out an apology. 

After about five minutes of her trying to control herself he realized how funny her laugh was. She was one of those types that choked on it and occasionally snorted when she didn’t get enough air. 

And then he couldn’t stop. 

~

When he opened his eyes it was dawn and the room was full of soft bluish grayish light. 

The bed was shifting slightly as she got back in it, her pale back to him. The tap in the bathroom was dripping. He took a turn, washing his face and brushing his teeth. 

She groaned as he flipped up the covers and got back in bed. 

He pressed his lips to his shoulder.

“What?” 

“It’s cold.” His fingers traced dragged her spine. Hard. “Fuck-” 

She arched, realizing he could play her body like a goddamn piano now. 

“That was the idea.” 

“Smart ass,” She sucked on his lower lip and rolled her hips back against his. He pulled her leg back over his. 

~ 

They broke a rather impressive sweat. A shower was very much in order. Well- as much showering that could be done pressing each other up against the wall. 

“Mmmm,” 

“Relax, slow down, we got plenty of time.”

“You started it.” He threaded his fingers through hers, holding them above her head. 

Gently though. His thumbs ran over her wrists.

After a moment she freed herself from his grip and wrapped her arms around his waist. She brought herself up on tip toes to get to his neck, kissing and sucking at the skin till his fingers dug into her ribs hard enough to bruise as he was forgetting what he said about slow. 

As he alternated between watching her face and pressing his cheek to her neck he remembered the first frantic gropes that watershed to this moment. How vainly she had tried to keep him away at first. How hard she slapped him when he said he wanted so much of her than wham bam thank you ma'am. How much she cried after the acquittal trial. How she collapsed against him later that night in the office and apologized every other minute on the ride back to her place. He remembered how amazing it felt to meet her eyes that night. To know things were gonna be different. 

There was a new path drawn for them.


	3. Bottle It Up

“You gave me a hicky.” 

“Aw seriously? Lemme see.” She snorted and gestured to her neck as she joined him in the kitchen in her leggings and running tank. “Shit that’s dark, my bad…” He ran a knuckle over the bruise. 

“You made up for it.” He winked and when back to firing up the coffee machine. “Has the radio been playing this whole time?” He turned around again and leaned on the counter. 

“This is Led Zep, baby. Gotta love the classics.” She rolled her eyes. 

“Do you have a plan for today?” 

“Not really.”   
“Good because your apartment’s a wreck and we’re going to fix that.” He groaned.

“Are you serious Moms?” 

“I took a nap there on Wednesday and I couldn’t stop sneezing.”

“It is not that bad.” 

“You need food and laundry and a vacuum. I’ll help you…” He groaned again. She slipped her hands up his chest and played with the collar of his tee shirt. “You can be lazy in the afternoon if we get it done before lunch…did you shave?” 

“You asked me to.” He teased, planting a wet kiss on her jaw and rubbing his cheek against hers. She smiled. He pecked her lips and the top of her head before reaching for her coffee travel mugs. 

~ 

After three hours and two grocery store runs his apartment was so overwhelmed with Pledge and Clorox they had to open all the windows and let some of the city back in. Linden took the garbage down to the dumpster while Holder returned the vacuum to the landlord’s office. He found her starting a load of laundry. 

“When you’re right, you’re right.” He grinned when he noticed some articles of her clothing mixed in with his. As the cycle kicked on he came up behind her and pressed himself tight to her back, forcing her up against the box. She gasped, her hands searching for purchase on the slick vibrating surface of the washing machine. 

“You know- never mind.” She choked on it. He was just as grimy as she was. HIs bands wandered in opposite directions and she bowed to the curve of his body willingly, closing her eyes. Her mouth fell open as he found the back of her neck with his own. 

“Just trying to say thank you…” 

“You’re fucking welcome.” She reached back to get his mouth down to hers. A team effort got his hand passed her waistband. He shook with laughter but didn’t dare stop. 

~

“That song is old.” She mumbled after emerging from the second shower of the day, shaking her hair out. He was face down on the bed. He grinned and hummed along to the chorus of Toto’s Africa. It was flowing faintly through the wall. 

“My new neighbors. Musician types avoiding college. They do most of their playing on the roof durin’ the day when everyone’s out. Every now and then they jam out down here. Nice people. I helped em move in.” She yawned and sat down on the bed, crossing her legs Indian style and stretching her arms up above her head. He pressed a kiss to the top of her thigh and grinned at her. 

“Shut up.” She’d only gotten as far as dressing herself in a pair of his boxers and a sports bra. “Order up a pizza. I’m starving.” 

“Whatcha want?” 

“I’m down for that garden crap you made me try.” He snorted and reached for a phone, putting it in to Dominos for a thin crust cheese pizza with tomatoes, greens, and chicken. After a moment of thought he got a second with pepperoni and mushrooms. 

~

“God that’s like sex.” 

“I beg your pardon?” 

“You gotta agree- pepperoni and mushroom pizza is orgasmic.” 

“Jesus I must have really let myself go...”

“There's a difference...you're fucking delicious.” For a fraction of a second she thought he was talking to the pizza but he placed wet kisses across her shoulder and to the back of her neck. His hand playing a tune on her ribs. She closed her eyes and took a breath, memorizing all warm feelings inside. 

God...it couldn't always be this good.


	4. Chapter 4

Reddick called him in the middle of the night. 

He retreated to the bathroom to answer.

He swore his legs almost collapsed underneath him after they broke the news to him. He sure as hell couldn’t go back to bed. He gently pulled the blankets up her body and pushed his pillow up against her back. 

He padded to the kitchen and grabbed a beer. 

How the fuck do you tell something like that to someone? 

“Stephen?” 

Shit. 

“In the kitchen baby….I didn’t mean to wake you.” She froze when she saw the beer. 

“Bed got cold. What’s the matter?” He hated that furrow in her brow. She had her thinking face and she had her worried face. This was her scared face though.

“Sarah,” He reached for her hand and tugged her between his knees. He bit his lip and rubbed her hips. He rested his forehead against her stomach briefly. “Someone lit your place up…it’s all burned down. Arson.” 

“Fuck,” She swallowed. Her knees started shaking. She didn’t fight him as he pulled her down to his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook of his shoulder. “Fuck…my car was out front…” 

“I know babe, I know.” They were on the same wavelength. Whoever did it thought she was home. “Shhh,” He was stroking her leg and her back when she looked up at him, utterly lost. 

God- just when you think it's all fucking over with. 

She took a chug from his beer and pulled his arms around her waist before resuming her former position. He got the message. Tighter. “Reddick was out there. He said…some stuff could be salvageable.” She nodded. 

“Most of the- important things- a-are either in storage o-or with Jack...” He feathered kisses against her arm. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay. They’re gonna get him.” She was shocked. Her body started shaking. He stood up with her in his arms and grabbed the beer.

He drew a bath so hot it made her stop crying. They passed the wee hours in silence with alcohol and cigarettes. 

~

When they walked up she didn’t cry. She didn’t flinch. She frowned and reached for his hand. He laced their fingers and kissed her knuckles for the dozenth time since they left his place. All that was left of the two story house was three walls, a charred shell of a kitchen, and half the porch. Neighbors were still peaking over the crime scene tape. They made their way past it all. They both sneezed violently. The dust in the air was horrible. 

She rescued some books, smiling inanely at the smeared cover of the library book that was already a month overdue. 

Most of her photo albums were in storage but Holder found a few framed pictures of Jack through the years that were worth taking. Wood, insulation, and all sorts of debris cracked under their shoes. It was her bed that was most shocking, a place they’d both found refuge in less that forty eight hours ago. It was overturned and charred on the side lawn, stabbed through with house siding and glass fiber. The bedding and sheets were torn and twisted beyond recognition. 

They sat down on the ground on what used to be her backyard. She called her insurance agent, head heavy on his shoulder. She set up a meeting with him later in the day. 

“Little TLC and we can fix up that dining room set.” All the rest of her furniture was too far gone. She shook her head and closed her eyes. 

“I don’t want any of it.” He shrugged. 

“More fun for us then. Breaking in new furniture is the best part.” He teased. It took her a minute. But she laughed a good, real laugh. They’d done the deed at least twice in her dining room. She dialed Jack next. Figured out all his valuables were with him and what she needed to replace. 

She continued to slump against his shoulder, arm looped limply though his. He quietly kneaded her wrist or slipped his fingers between hers. She alternated between being taught with anger and trembling with defeat. He wasn’t sure what worried him more. 

Cars passed by slowly to gawk. When a local news truck passed by he nudged her. 

“Oh hell no.” She grumbled. She led him through one of the back trails she used to run on. It looped around to the front of the street. They got back to the car and pealed out as the cameras were unloaded. 

~

“You don’t have to go with me.” 

“I’m not. I’m gonna run some errands and we can meet right back here.” 

“Kay,” She leaned against the counter, fiddling with her keys. They’d retrieved her car, making one last trip a few hours ago. He put his arms on either side of her. He leaned down to her level. She couldn’t keep her tears back anymore. 

“I’m right here with you Sarah. I’m right here with yah.” She nodded and reached for one of his hands, bringing it up to her cheek. She let him kiss her. Her skin was freezing. He hid his wince with a forehead kiss. He left first. 

~

She sat staring at the paperwork in her front seat for a long ass time. Signature here. Notary here. Witnesses there and there. Police reports attached here. Initial and date the highlighted portions. Allow for three week review. 

She was guaranteed a hell of a lot more than she remembered covering. She scrubbed her hands over her face and started the car. She started driving to her place instinctually. 

She swore and pulled a u-turn, aiming towards the liquor store instead. She retched violently in the bathroom and bought two bottles of vodka. 

Someone knew what she really did. Someone knew and someone wanted her to pay up.


	5. Chapter 5

Her stomach twisted again. His apartment was dark. His fucking car was out front. She was about to leave till a flicker of light caught her eye. She followed it to the kitchen. 

Oh Jesus Christ he lit candles. 

And bought fucking flowers. 

He had pulled the table in and was cracking open some beers, arranging what had to be homemade potato soup in bread bowls, and a salad. She touched the petal of one of the orchids arching up over the arrangement. 

“This is nice…” He grinned. 

“Let’s get drunk.” She giggled. Like actually giggled. He turned red. 

~

“You gonna stare at me all night?” 

“Nah,”

“I know what you’re doing.” 

“Oh Yah?” She took a deep breath and pulled her hair over her shoulder as she propped her legs up in his lap, leaning back in the chair adjacent to him. 

“Stop testing for cracks.” He snubbed out the filter of his half done cigarette. 

“How’d it go with the insurance man?” 

“Better than I expected.” He smirked. 

“That doesn’t count when you’re expecting the worse.” She smiled again and closed her eyes, drowsy from the day and the particularly extraordinary meal. 

“Makes everything easier.” 

“Don't set no low ass standards girl. It ain't fair to me when you get grumpy." He teased, fiddling with a loose stitch on her pants. She smiled again. 

“Noted,” 

“Break through, They don’t pay me enough for this.” 

“I…” She swallowed and caught her breath, curling her fingers into his sleeve. “Thank you.” 

“Ain’t nothin’ I wouldn’t do for you baby. But you knew that.” She leaned over to kiss his cheek. “You drunk yet?” She smothered another giggle. 

“Nope.” She slipped her arms up around his neck. “I bought Smirnoff.” 

“What a coincidence. I bought fresh limes.” 

~

“Feel better?” 

“Fuck yeah.” He laughed. Drunk Linden swore a lot. And sat in his lap.

And missed his mouth when she kissed him.


	6. Chapter 6

Just past midnight they sobered up having showered and gotten down some more food. She was fighting a headache and curled up in his bed with a box of tissues. He was sitting on the floor, running his fingers over her knee, letting her work through it. 

“I think it has something to do with James.” He played with her hair, pushing baby strands back from her forehead and behind her ear. 

“The fire marshal opened an investigation. Reddick’s keeping tabs on it for us. They know about all the issues with the Mrs. Skinner. Carlson’s giving you till Wednesday to get back to work.”

“Are you going in tomorrow?” He shrugged. “You should.” 

“I’ll go for awhile.” He sounded like a petulant child and she smiled, closing her eyes, running her sleeve over her cheeks one last time and blowing her nose. He kept playing with her hair. 

“Of all the things that terrify me... fire was not one of them.” 

“If we get started on that paperwork, it’ll be like it never happened girl.” She took a deep breath and nodded. 

“You’re sure about me staying here?” He raised an eyebrow and winked. She smiled again. 

“More booze?” She groaned and rolled over on her back, throwing an arm over her eyes. 

“How much did we drink?” 

“Well…we killed half a Smirnoff and a whiskey.” 

“Shit.” 

“Yah we’re gonna regret this later.” She smirked. He watched her turn on her side and pull the blankets up. He cleaned up the ash tray and the used tissues and empty bottles. He came back to find her dozing. 

Her hair was splayed out across the pillows and she had one arm curled against her chest, the other around her own waist. Her mouth was slightly open and God have mercy on him he could see a knee peaking out and she was wearing some of his sweatpants. He got on the bed stealthily, barely moving the mattress. He got on hands and knees over her and she didn’t stir. 

He dropped his lips to her bare shoulder, following the line of freckles. She sighed and stirred slightly, pulled from her slumber into a dose. He nosed the strap of her sports bra and tasted her neck. 

“Mmmm…hi,” She knuckled an eye and scrunched up her nose. He tucked hair behind her ear and out of his way, tilting her chin up and kissed her till she was awake enough to nip at his bottom lip and bury her face back in the pillow. He used his knees to turn her hips and roll her over on her back. She stretched and threw an arm over her eyes. 

“Hi,” He settled between her legs and pulled her arm around his neck. He kissed her forehead and stroked the baby hairs back till she smiled and raised an eyebrow. 

“Did you mess up the kitchen?” 

“Nope. You okay?" 

“I think so.” 

“You're a superhero. You know that right?” She touched his cheek and kissed him back; prolonging feather like contact till she felt his hips push down into hers ever so slightly and shiver run down his body. He sucked on her throat and put wet kisses on her collar bone and the top of her left breast. She wrapped her legs around his thighs. 

“Is that another bottle of vodka or are you just happy to see me?” 

“Ha ha ha one nine hun. Copin' lines at the man tryin' to impress you.” 

"Holder..." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "I love you." He smirked. 

"I so knew you'd come around one of these days." He dropped his head down to her shoulder briefly before looking up and searching her face again. She let out the breath and shook her head. 

"I think I've realized..." 

"Shut up. I love you too."


	7. Drowning

The first day back to work after the fire went smoothly. 

So did that week. And the week after that. And all of a sudden she'd been living in his place for a month and they had gone half and half on a cough that would fold out into a guest bed for when Jack came to visit for Christmas. 

He wrote out the grocery lists. She went to the store. He cooked. She did dishes. 

Slept in the same bed. 

Rented movies. 

"Hella domestic." To put it in his words. She wrinkled her nose but realized she liked wearing his clothes around the house too much. 

"Mmmm g'mornin..." She yawned out one rainy Saturday morning, his fingers in her hair and his mouth on her neck. 

"Wanna do somethin' different today?" He kissed her chin. She opened her eyes blearily and stretched as much as she could with him wrapped around her. 

"Whatcha got in mind?" 

"Surprise." She closed her eyes again and groaned. "C'mon sleepy girrrrllll." He drawled, working his fingers up under her tank top and against her sensitive rib cage. She squirmed and let out a shriek. 

"OKAY okay okay...god you're rude." She elbowed him. Hard. 

"Don't gotta be a bitch about it..." He rubbed the spot on the chest she nailed. 

~

The roads were soaked. He tried to get them to stay home. She gestured to the clothes she had just finished putting on. He shrugged and grabbed the car keys. 

They made it to their favorite diner for take away breakfast and coffee. She was in a much better mood after that, even smiling at his impersonation of the no name band on the radio signal they managed to catch between thunder claps. 

Such a good mood in fact- neither of them quite saw the pick up truck careening through the red light till it t-boned their car. 

"SHIT."


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm so sorry Sarah." He blurted out, the minute he found her in the ER. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Knocked my head around a bit. Cracked my knee." She breathed deeply and stared at the beige ceiling, looked at him, closed her eyes again as he touched a tender spot on her forehead. 

"Looks like someone pistol whipped you." 

"You ain't much better Rocky." She smirked. 

"Where were you gonna take us anyway?" She sat up, patted the bed next to her. God- was he crying? The arm around her back was hesitant. Her stomach flipped. 

"Sarah...did you...I uh...I talked to the doctor-" She sucked in a breath and bit down on her lip. "I think he thought we were married so he uh- told me..." 

"I didn't wanna tell you till I was sure. I had a doctor's appointment Monday." He snorted and pinched the bridge of his nose, suddenly holding her very tightly with one arm and touching her leg with his other hand. He pressed his lips to her temple. 

"Had a fucking heart attack- sir where's Sarah Linden? I can't find her anywhere? The baby's fine sir." He mocked the doctor's calm and collected attitude. Everything inside her was flipping around and over and backwards. 

"I'm so sorry Holder." 

"I mean- I new that new beer was narc stuff but I must be stupid as the day is long not putting two and two together..."

"Holder-" 

"Are you okay. I mean- does everything feel okay." 

"Holder." She looked up and grabbed his arm, hard enough to hurt. "We just got t-boned by a car twice as big as ours. My son is applying to college. You just knocked up you're partner. My head is swimming from this Vicodin shit...hey- don't start fucking talking again." He looked flustered beyond all belief. "We're in a shit ton of trouble and you can never shut up about this kind of stuff. Jesus." God there were fucking tears in his eyes. He just wanted to throw up. "Why the hell am I so happy right now? Can you tell me that Holder?" Holder buried his face in her shoulder. 

"I dunno Lind. I dunno."


	9. Chapter 9

They got into bed and stayed there. 

Stared at the ceiling. Sweating. 

His heart was pounding, whispering about how she could easily wait till he was snoring to leave and never come back. She couldn't breathe, hearing him somewhere deep in her brain asking her to get rid of it. When he broke the silence she flinched. Silent tears rolling down her temples and into her hair. 

"We gotta quit." 

"What?" 

"The job. We gotta quit. Start over. Be real parents. I don't wanna be playing hot potato with day cares and babysitters- do you?" 

"I-" Stephen Holder listened to Sarah Linden sniff and sob for all of five seconds before yanking her into his arms and nearly suffocating her. "Fucking God..." 

"Shhh. He ain't got nothing to do with it." She made the shoulder of his sweatshirt all sticky before sitting up, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her hair was loose and her cheeks were pink. 

"What are we gonna do?" He stripped off the hoodie and sat up against the head board. He ran a hand up and down her back, slipped under her tee shirt. He teasingly snapped the elastic band of her sports bra. 

"Sarah I'm freaking crazy about you. Let's have a kid." She turned around to look at him, fear glassing over her eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

She turned her side to the closet mirror, hiking up her shirt. She ran critical fingers down her naval. Still no sign of the source of the flutters constantly plaguing her belly. Or maybe that was just her head. 

He leaned on the doorjamb of the bedroom and wolf whistled. She jumped and yanked the sweatshirt back down. 

"When did you get here?" He shrugged and smirked. 

"You're showing you know." 

"Am I?" She raised a brow and tentatively turned again, pulling the sweatshirt tight against her belly. 

"Just a lil bit." He loomed over her, slipping both hands up under her shirt to rest over her naval. "Why you freakin' out?" He could practically feel her heart beating through her back. 

"You scared me." She pulled a face. 

"Sorry," He chuckled into her shoulder. She met his eyes in the mirror. 

"So what happened?" 

"Told him my girl's got Holder Junior on the way. Got fired before I could quit." 

"What?" 

"Hella severance-" 

You told them that I-" 

"Never dropped your name baby girl." 

"They didn't ask?" 

"Nope," She buried her face in her hands. He turned her around and ran his fingers through her hair, down for once. "Sarah, Sarah, Sarah Lind." He sighed under his breath. She was taking a leave. They thought she was getting Jack in line. Getting her shit together. Whatever. He was planning on quitting, getting some work with the Narcotics Anonymous or the community center. Something. 

"I don't know if this going to work Holder." 

"What a coincidence. I think this is gonna go just fine." He looped his fingers in her belt loops and tugged her in closer. She uncovered her eyes and let out a long exhale. 

"I don't know what to do now." She admitted. 

"Well. Pack a bag." 

"What?" He reached in his back pocket and waved two plane tickets under her nose. She snatched them up. "Chicago? Now?" Jack. Getting away from this damn city. Jack. 

"If you're up to it...I mean I can-" Before he could crack a joke she had wrapped her arms around his neck and yanked him down to her level. He almost choked on the kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Live for feedback


End file.
